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LIZ THE HOT RECEPTIONIST
© 2008 by Risa Mickenberg and Joel Shelton

Her father died and left her almost nothing in his will
She had a schizophrenic roommate and a place on Murray Hill
She wanted a career that didn’t take a lot of skill
Her roommate had an IUD and she was on the pill.

She was young
She was cute
She took the bus
She wore a suit
She bought sudokos
for her commute

What’s upstairs? There’s not a lot
(But it doesn’t mean she isn’t hot.)
That’s all she is.
She’s Liz The Hot Receptionist

Married guys at work were always looking down her shirt
They would hang around her desk on their way to take a squirt
She wouldn’t get involved- she was afraid of getting hurt
But cocktails were expensive so she knew she had to flirt

She passed the time. She paid the rent
She learned to be subservient
Her skin got dry from the heating vent.

What’s upstairs? There’s not a lot.
(But it doesn’t mean she isn’t hot.)
That’s all she is.
She’s Liz:
The Hot Receptionist

Harris gave her Tic Tacs
Martin gave her Diet Coke
Watzman bought her cookies
Porter gave her dope
She never got promoted
Always wondered why
Her desk was by the printer: easy to stop by.

Liz! Liz! Liz!

She met a guy in real estate
He put her name on his license plate
They make their home in the Garden State

What’s upstairs?
There’s not a lot
(But it doesn’t mean she isn’t hot)
That’s all she is.
She’s Liz The Hot Receptionist
Hunh!

BACK BURNER GUY
© 2008 by Risa Mickenberg and Joel Shelton

I’ve got a boyfriend everything’s great
But it could fall through if you’re willing to wait
Cheating on him is something I won’t do
But there’s room in my life ror a guy like you.

Even though I’ve got a man
I’ve gotta have a back up plan.

Won’t you be my Back Burner Guy?
When he works late we can meet on the sly
He’s number one. But you’re number two
Won’t you be my back burner dude?

You’ll always have a place in my heart.
We can about books. We can talk about art.
If things go wrong like they sometimes do
I can drop kick him: cuz I’ve got you.

It’d feel pretty nice
To have a guy like you on ice

Won’t you be my Back Burner Guy?
You’ll never kiss me so don’t even try
Don’t want to cheat- just want to know I can.
Won’t you be my back burner man?

When I’m feeling insecure I’ll call
You can stroke my ego but that’s all.

When he’s distant, when he comes home late
I’ll still know that you think that I’m great.

When I’ve got you i’s a funny thing
I won’t be neurotic. I won’t have to cling
As long as I know you lust after me.
I can be the girl he wants me to be.

Won’t you be my Back Burner Guy?
The position’s yours if you want to apply
You’re more than a friend; you’re a back up plan
Won’t you be my back burner man?

Won’t you be my Back Burner Guy?
Won’t you be my Back Burner Guy?
Won’t you be my Back Burner Guy?
Won’t you be my Back Burner Guy?

JILL USED TO BE NORMAL
© 2008 by Risa Mickenberg and Joel Shelton

Jill used to be normal
But now she is a freak.
Isn’t it strange
The way that she changed?
She was a golden young girl

She stays in the house.
She’s always asleep.
She looks so sad.
She never talks to me.
She stopped seeing her friends.
Dropped off of the team.
She always looks mad.
She walks around in a dream.
She dresses in black.
I never see her laugh.
It’s not how she used to be.

Jill used to be normal
but now we never speak.
Isn’t it strange,
seeing her change?
She was a golden young girl.
Golden young girl.

Jill used to be happy
but now she is a freak
Isn’t it strange
the way that she changed?
She was a golden young girl.
Golden young girl.
Golden young girl.
Golden young girl.
Golden young girl.

JULIE ON THE FUNG WAH BUS
© 2008 by Risa Mickenberg and Joel Shelton

To Julie On the Fung Wah bus to Boston
I really loved our conversation.
I thought it was so weird and coincidental:
We’re both into Goethe and meditation.

I lost you at the taxi stand
so I never said goodbye to you
I should’ve got your digits too

Julie On the Fung Wah bus
Julie On the Fung Wah bus
I’m posting on Missed Connections
I hope you’ll read it. I hope you’ll write me back

To Julie On the Fung Wah bus to Boston
I bought the Yma Sumac song you recommended
She’s amazing. You were totally right about the way it ended
I listened to it six times through and every time I thought of you.
Every time I thought of you.

Julie On the Fung Wah bus
Julie On the Fung Wah bus
I’m posting on Missed Connections
I hope you’ll read it
I hope you’ll write me back
When you get back
From your cousin’s house in Gloucester.

I thought it was obvious
But I guess you didn’t have a clue
How taken I was with you.

YOU’VE GOTTA HAVE A DREAM
© 2008 by Risa Mickenberg and Joel Shelton

Just like a dishwasher needs a dish.
You’ve gotta have a wish.
Just like a theme park needs a theme.
You’ve gotta have a dream.

If you don’t have a passion-
Choose whatever’s in fashion.
In cocktail conversation
It gives you something to say.

Just like a stamp needs an envelope
you’ve gotta have hope.
Like a button needs a hole,
you’ve gotta have a goal.

You need something to flail at
Something for you to fail at.
A star up there to stare at
From millions of miles away.

It’s essential.
It’s detrimental
if you don’t want something monumental.
You must want something you don’t have:
some crazy creed,
something just beyond your reach.
Some luscious peach you’ll never bite.
Some delight you’ll never know.
Something to blow.

A dream will help define you
Helps the critics confine you
Gives a value to assign you
That’s the game and you’ve got to play

Just like a stripper needs a pole
You’ve gotta have a goal.
Like a football needs a team-
You’ve gotta have a dream
You’ve gotta have a dream

Like an anorexic needs self-esteem
Like a Russian needs to take a steam
Like a salmon needs to swim upstream
You’ve gotta have a dream.
You’ve gotta have a dream.
You’ve gotta have a dream.
You’ve gotta have a dream.

VANITY SURFING
© 2008 by Risa Mickenberg and Joel Shelton

There’s a brand new surfin’ sensation
For the sedentary generation
It’s rad!
And it’s sweepin’ the country.
Let’s go!

Vanity Surfin’
Vanity Surfin’
I’ve got my search engine open
And it’s searchin’ for me.

Stayin’ out of the burnin’ sun
We’re at our desks and we’re havin’ fun.
Log on!
It’s a special kind of masturbation.

I’m inside and the shades are drawn
I’ve got my computer on
I’m getting off
On googling me…(googlin’ me!)
Let’s go!

Vanity Surfin’
Vanity Surfin’
I’ve got Safari open
And it’s surfin’ for me.

We sit there like bumps on logs
Lookin’ for ourselves on peoples’ blogs
Boot up!
For some ego gratification.

Vanity Surfin’
Searchin’ for me.

Let’s go!
Vanity Surfin’ (Surfin’)
Vanity Surfin’ (Searchin’!)
Vanity Surfin’
Searchin’ for me.
Let’s go!

I’M AROUND
© 2008 by Risa Mickenberg and Joel Shelton

It’s Monica
I had fun tonight
Just letting you know I got home allright
did you go back out ?
Cuz I thought you might.
Dude that’s rude
you bite!
I’m around.
I’m around.
I’m around.

It’s me again
Just sayin hi.
Guess you’re out
Well I thought I’d try.
Basically I'm free tonight.
If you want me to swing by
I’m around.
I’m around.
I’m around.

I’ve been away for a day or two
If you wondered why I wasn’t calling you
Do you miss me?
You know you do!
Call me back - it’s you know who.
I’m around.
I’m around.
I’m around.

Hey what you up to?
Give me a buzz back
Here’s my number
you wanna hang out
Give me a call back
Just trying you again.

YOU HAVE 4 NEW MESSAGES
Hey you, it’s monica.
NEXT MESSSAGE.
Hi. It’s Monica.
NEXT MESSSAGE.
It’s me. Monica. Trying to get ahold of you.
NEXT MESSSAGE.
Hey screener it’s Monica

It’s Monica
It’s half past ten
Trying to get ahold of you again
You said you’d call
O.K. well, when?

I’m around.
I’m around.
I’m around.
I’m around.
I’m around.
I’m around.

I MISS YOUR ARM
© 2008 by Risa Mickenberg and Joel Shelton

When I told you that I didn’t want any part of you
It wasn’t true
Cuz part of me still misses parts of you…

I miss your arm.
The rest of you just lacked a certain charm.
Your mouth and eyes just told me lies
But your arm was nice and warm.
It never rubbed me wrong or caused me harm.

I miss your knee
Pressed against me in a movie
Beside me on the train
It never turned against me like your heart
Or changed its mind about me like your brain.

I miss your hair.
If I never see your face again
I swear that I don’t care
Your grumpy moods
Your taste in shoes
Your arrogance
The way you dance
The way you left your laundry on the stair
I’ll never miss those things
The way I miss your hair.

I wish the stuff about you
That I was so attached to
Was not attached to you.
It isn’t fair.
I miss your hair
I miss your knee
I miss your arm.
Do they miss me?

I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY
© 2008 by Risa Mickenberg and Joel Shelton

I hope you’re happy.
I hope you’re where you want to be.
I hope you’re happy
Just not happier than me.

I heard you had another baby.
How old’s the first one- is he three?
I’m happy for you ‘cause when we broke up,
you said you wanted a big family.

I heard you sold your old apartment
I heard you got a decent price
I heard you guys moved out to Brooklyn
I forget which neighborhood but I heard it’s nice.

I hope you’re happy
I hope you’re where you want to be
I hope you’re happy-
Just not happier than me.

Will you say hi to your sister for me?
I feel bad we didn’t stay in touch
It’s really a shame
Because I always liked her very much.

I found a picture from when we first moved in together.
I forgot your hair was so long.
We looked happy then and it made me realize
How well you and I actually used to get along.

Do you remember when we took ecstacy and we stopped fooling around because we wanted to call your grandmother?
Remember when I ate that sandwich that was on the floor of the van and you said that was the thing that made you fall in love with me?
Do you remember when we drove out to Death Valley at night in that rented convertible, and the moon was so bright that we drove without the headlights on and there was nothing on the radio so we were singing Bruce Springsteen songs and you were singing Born to Run and when you got to the part where he says “Will you walk with me out on the wire” I don’t know why but we both started crying?

I hope you’re happy
(Hope you’re where you want to be.)
I hope you’re happy.
Just not happier than me.

ALCOHOLICS IN MY TOWN
© 2008 by Risa Mickenberg and Joel Shelton

There’s Mrs. Powers- our old teachers’ aid.
She sits down at the Copper Kettle for hours
Drinking vodka lemonade.
She passed out in her lawn chair at the Fireman’s Parade
She’s an alcoholic in my town.

There’s Colleen Sullivan
Drinking on the bus at away games.
Making out with guys from other schools.
Doesn’t even know their last names.
She burned her pants in a bonfire standing too close to the flames.
She’s an alcoholic in my town
Another alcoholic in my town

Another Southern Comfort
Another Yukon Jack
Another Cuervo Gold
Keep em comin’
Keep on rockin’
This party never gets old

There’s Little Dave
Hangin' out at Cumberland Farms.
He got fired from Sikorsky last week
Cuz he pulled the fire alarm.
He gets a little rowdy
But he don’t mean any harm.

There’s Jimmy Hudak
You know his brother Bill?
One time they locked the guy in a port-a-john.
And rolled him down a hill.
People say they should grow up
But you know they never will-
They’re alcoholics.

That’s Debbie’s father
He’s really cool
Last summer he backed his riding mower
Into the swimming pool.
He keeps a keg in his basement.
And we drink there after school.
He’s an alcoholic
In my town.
Another alcoholic
In my town.

Happy days
the party never ends
Here’s to all us alcoholics
Another round for my friends.
One more round for my friends.

PATHETIC
© 2008 by Risa Mickenberg and Joel Shelton

How come every time I order food at a restaurant I get all shy and apologetic and subservient?
Like any waiter or waitress has a total position of authority over me.
Like what’s my problem? I’m not worthy of ordering a meal?
I'm such an idiot. I’m such a loser!

How come I can’t leave an outgoing message on my answering machine without listening back and re-recording it at least 5 times, trying to sound all casual and cool and lighthearted and unrehearsed.
I'm such an idiot. I’m such a loser!

Why am I so afraid that everyone’s gonna hate me?
It’s pathetic!
Do you hate me for asking if you hate me?
Why am I so suspicious whenever someone likes me
If you like me then I hate you
You’re pathetic!
Dude I know it. It’s pathetic.
How pathetic.

If you have the kind of face
that no matter where you go, you look out of place
Then I love you.
That’s pathetic

If you’re the kind of person who can’t make up your mind
You must be kind
And I love you
That’s pathetic

If getting dressed
triggers in you
total out-of-hand self consciousness.
Then I love you.
That’s pathetic

If the simple act of tipping a barrista
Fills you with self-loathing
Then I love you.
That’s pathetic

If you have trouble looking people in the eye
You’re an alright guy
And I love you.
Pathetic!
But if I love you
You’re pathetic
Will you hate me?
How pathetic
Don’t you think I know it
That’s pathetic
Don’t you think I hate it?
You’re pathetic
Don’t you, don’t you, don’t you think it makes me hate myself?

DRY SPELL
© 2008 by Risa Mickenberg and Joel Shelton

She believed in love
But she was starting to doubt it
Then she met a man
Who needed it just as bad
Now it’s hard to believe
She ever lived without it

Dina’s over her dry spell!
Everybody’s glad.
Dina’s over her dry spel!
No more feeling mad.

Like rainstorms in the desert
Like mountains in the spring
Like rivers over flowing
Tra la la la la!

Seemed like she was celibate forever
Seemed like she would never get her rocks off
Oh how she longed to get her rocks off
She waited for so long to get her rocks off.

Suddenly she feels pretty
Suddenly she feels young
Suddenly her neighbor on the co-op board is not wrong.

Something has displaced the rage.
The months of feeling numb are done
Carnal knowledge has made the girl a sage
Now she’s in tune with the universal
hum.

CONNECTICUT’S FOR FUCKING
© 2004 Mickenberg/Shelton

We live in the dullest state
Package stores all close at eight
Malls are full of optometrists
And restaurants we hate
Swimming across Lake Quassapaug
Stealing makeup, catching frogs
Cutting our feet on broken bottles
As we wade in the Shepaug
It’s true for horses, cows and dogs…

Connecticut’s for fucking
That’s all there is to do.
I love to listen to classic rock
and have sex with you.

Doing hole shots at the mall
Writing Ozzy on a wall
Watch the corn get tall
There’s nothing else to do at all.

Goin’ where we always go
Doin’ what we always do
Waitin’ to turn into the people
We are bound to turn into.
What else do other people do?

Connecticut’s for fucking
It’s the Nutmeg state
If we can’t afford to buy antiques
then we just copulate

Connecticut’s for fucking
And Massachusetts too
I want to climb up the sleepy giant
and have sex with you.

Up in Fairfield
In Old Lyme
We’re just fucking all the time.
Out in Derby
Down in Kent
We’re all busy getting bent
In the Constitution State.

Connecticut’s for fucking
While we’re waiting to
Turn into the people
everyone here turns into.

Connecticut’s for fucking.
There’s nothing else to do.
I wanna listen to classic rock and have sex with you.

We all love to fuck in Connecticut.
We’re all getting fucked in Connecticut.
Let’s fuck!

HAPPY ME
© 2005 Mickenberg/Shelton

When you met me
You couldn't believe
How happy happy happy
I was.
Happy, happy, happy me.
I was so able to get close
I was on a megadose
Of happy, happy, happy…
Pharmaceutically,
you fell in love with me.

I seemed so stable
I seemed so able
To commit
Now it sometimes seems
Like I'm not into it.
My elation
Was due to medication,
I’ll admit.
But that was only part of it…

Happy, happy, happy me.
Happy pharmaceutically.
You fell in love with happy, happy me.
Happy, happy, happy me.
I was happy medically.
You made me happy,
Yeah, it's true
But it wasn't only,
it wasn't only you.

I don't want to be full of hate
Everything was great
Is it still
if I don't take my pills?

When you met me,
You couldn’t believe
How happy I was.
Happy, happy, happy me.

Happy, happy, happy me.
Was it only chemistry?
You fell in love with
happy, happy me.
Happy, happy, happy me.
I was happy medically.
You made me happy,
Yeah, it's true
but it wasn't only,
it wasn't only you.

DO ME
© 2005 Mickenberg/Shelton

I heard your wife died the other day
I want to be the one first to say
that I want you to do me!

When I heard that she bit the dust
I was oddly consumed with lust
I was dying for you… to do me.

I’m alone
now so are you.
She is gone, there’s nothing you can do…
but me.

I know I’m not the only one who feels this way
that’s why I have the nerve to say
that I’m desperate for you
to do me.
Won’t you do me?

I know it’s sad. I know you’re there, lonely and blue
I know it’s bad that it only makes me even more and more into you.

I know it’s bad. I am a crass opportunist.
But I don’t want to wait.
If I hesitate you’re gonna fall for the girl who’s there soonest.

Seeing you, filled with grief
Makes you hot beyond belief!
So do me.

OBVIOUSLY
© 2005 Mickenberg/Shelton

Obviously you slept with that girl from your reunion.
I just don’t see why you’d deny it
You guys obviously slept together
I don’t care
I mean I think she’s a skank
But whatever.
I don’t care
I just don’t see why you’re denying it
When it’s obvious you two slept together.

By the way introduced you introduced her!
You were both all acting like you share some deep dark secret
Meanwhile she’s gross but whatever
It’s not like I care
Dude I’m not jealous
I’m just grossed out
And I’m just wondering why you’d deny it
when it’s obvious.

Obviously you slept with that girl from your reunion!

I like that you fell asleep on the sofa at my mom’s house
Like, sorry we were so boring.
It’s not like your family's so interesting
Sit up and have a normal conversation
Instead of passing out with boredom at my mom’s house
Kind of rude

Obviously you slept with that girl from your reunion!

Why do you have to drive like an asshole?
You have to drive like right up on the person in front of you’s ass
They slam on their brakes, we’re dead.
You always have to be such a jerk
You get in this pissed off mood when you drive.
Makes it totally unpleasant for me!

Obviously you slept with that girl from your reunion.
Can you lower that?
Can you turn that down?
Can you make it have just a little less bass?
Just turn it off!

VICKI IS A PRO
© 2005 Mickenberg/Shelton

Heard about Vicki from a guy named Dan.
She’s got blonde hair and a salon tan.
She makes you feel like you’re the only man she knows.
Vicky never needs to criticize.
She will swallow all your stupid lies.
She’s a pro.
Vicki is a pro.
She’s never sleepy.
She’s never mean.
No matter how she feels inside,
Vicki always claims she’s satisfied.

Vicki doesn’t care if you’ve got bad hair
She won’t make fun of your underwear
Anywhere you pick is the perfect place to go

If your breath stinks, she won’t tell you so.
The perfect girl for a guy like you to know.
She’s a pro.
Vicki is a pro.
She won’t compare you
to other guys
If your girlfriend’s mad at you
You do what you’ve gotta do.

If you're always late, she won’t complain.
She’ll pretend she loves you just the same.
She’s a pro.
Vicki is a pro.
She’s never grumpy.
She’s always fun.
No matter what a dork you are
She’ll make you feel like a superstar.
Vicki’s the best
Vicki’s a pro
The kind of girl a guy like you should know.

CRAZY GUY
© 2003 Mickenberg/Shelton

Crazy guy…
Why aren’t you obsessed with me?
Why are you obsessed with her?
I’m crazy ‘bout you, crazy guy.

I’m friendly to you.
I meet your crazy gaze.
I’m crazy ‘bout your crazy ways.
I’m crazy ‘bout you, crazy guy.

Why don’t you write me
an incoherent letter?
Why don’t you steal my favorite sweater?
Tattoo my name in misspelled letters
Across your greasy forehead?

Crazy guy
You know it drives me crazy why
It doesn’t feel like you took Spanish Fly
When you stare creepily at me

Why don’t you build me
A trash and garbage tower
Leave a doody in my flowers
Why not lie on your back for hours
Across my dirty doorstep?

Crazy Guy
You know it drives me crazy why
It doesn’t feel like you took Spanish Fly
When you stare creepily at me.
Please stare at me, you crazy guy.

VAMPIRE GIRLS
© 2003 Mickenberg/Shelton

You know those girls who seem like they’re really cool… until you realize that everything that’s cool about them is something they sucked out of their ex-boyfriends? You know the girls I’m talking about: those Vampire Girls…

Teach me how to fix cars.
Teach me how to drink
Teach me about Coltrane.
Teach me how to think.

Syd Barrett, Frank Zappa,
GTOs, Stratacastors
Noam Chomsky, Iggy Pop
Zabrisky Point, PhotoShop
Orson Welles, baseball, sex
Burroughs, Bukowski, Malcolm X

Vampire Girls

Make me compilations.
Teach me how to drive.
Correct my pronunciation
It means you know that I'm alive!

Kenneth Anger. Sun Ra
Hedge funds. Grappa.
Raymond Chandler. Kerouac.
How to play blackjack.
Tim Tim. The Rat Pack.
Karen Black. Balzac.

Vampire Girls

My teachers gave me dolls
I don’t know where Uganda is
I don’t want to be stupid anymore
Take me to the Whitney, take me to the Met
Take me to the Louvre on your corporate jet!

Take me to St. Bart's
From my East Village dive.
Introduce me to Johnny Rotten.
Backstage at Saturday Night Live!

Phillip K. Dick. Cap’n Beefheart.
Jerry Lewis. How to park.
Jeff Koons. Glitter rock.
Indian food. Pop art
Georges Bataille. Get Smart.
Saul Bellow. Asbury Park.

How’d you get so confident? How’d you learn about all these restaurants? You’re so interesting… I could listen to you forever! Teach me how to develop photographs. Let me mix your paints! Can I apprentice from you while you blow glass? Or I’ll just sit here quietly while you think.
Cosmopolitan Magazine taught me how to get a man, now you’re going to have to teach me everything else. I want to be you. I mean, I love you! Introduce me to your contacts. I mean, your parents! Can’t you make me interesting, like you?

ELLEN’S BICOASTAL
© 2004 Mickenberg/Shelton

Ellen is restless.
Ellen needs space.
Ellen gets antsy
She hates to stay in one place.
She’s indecisive.
She can’t commit.
New York’s too cold
L.A.’s full of shit.

When New York feels like a constant fight
She books herself on a Jet Blue flight.
She bought a condo
When the prices were low
Now she goes out there
Whenever it snows.

She likes both places
She likes both things
She likes Shelter Island
She lives Palm Springs

When New York starts to become a drag
She packs her Mac in her Tumi bag.
Ellen’s bicoastal.

She keeps her cosmetics
In a toiletry bag
She takes melatonin
To prevent jet lag.

When she needs a wax
Or when she wants sex
She takes a Lincoln Town Car
Out to LAX.
Ellen’s bicoastal.

SHE’S A SIX
© 2005 Mickenberg/Shelton

I used to wait for a perfect ten
But I’m never gonna go there again
When I need love I get a fix
From a six.

She likes to hang out every night
My friends all thinks sheís very bright
She lives way out in the sticks.
Sheís a six.

When she’s feeling blue
She’s a six point two.
When she’s mad at me
She’s a six point three.
When the sex is great
She’s a six point eight.
When I’m drinking wine.
She’s a six point nine nine nine.

She likes good bands
She’s got cold hands
She’s on the pill
I think sheíll ill
In her own way
She’s a good lay
She’s always free
She’s good for me.
She hangs around with hotter chicks
She thinks the wrestling team are a bunch of dicks.
That’s why I dig that girl.
She’s a six.
Six!

STEVE BAYLOR*
© 2004 Mickenberg/Shelton

Steve Baylor’s finally getting married.
Who’s the lucky girl?
Steve was a bachelor for life.
Now he’s a guy with a ball and chain.
She must have some kind of rack!
He called up all the girls he’d fucked
(Naughty boy!)
To tell them they were out of luck
And to tell them he could be reached on his cell.

NIPPLES
© 2003 Mickenberg/Shelton

It’s summer
So you can see my nipples
Yes, it’s summer
Nipples, nipples, nipples
In the summer
N-n-n-na-na-na-na

Melons…

Who can concentrate with all these boobies in our faces?
Can I babysit your twins?
Knockers

Excuse me mademoiselle
I guess that I was staring
I can’t look you in the eye.
Hooters…

Bouncing, shaking, heaving
Necklace moving when you’re breathing.
Shimmying, shaking, swaying, sweating
I can see your heart beating

I guess she will never drown with those torpedos
She jumps rope and gets black eyes.
It’s summer. So you can see my nipples, yes it’s summer.
It’s summer so we can see your nipples.
Yes it’s summer.

IT’S OK IN THE USA
© 2004 Mickenberg/Shelton

It’s OK to be fat
It’s OK to be loud
OK to be dumb
It’s OK to be proud
And if you think your cat’s a gourmet
It’s OK

It’s OK to be rude
It’s OK do be dense
OK to shoot if it’s in self-defense
And if you write strippers off as a business expense, it’s OK
It’s OK
In the USA

It’s OK to consume
It’s OK not to care
Ok to spend too much time on your hair
If you’ve got to have it your way
It’s OK
(More and more Americans are being treated for what doctors are calling Compassion Fatigue. Compassion Fatigue is when you become immune to the suffering of others. If you suffer from Compassion Fatigue, call 1-800-IFEEL-00.)
(Your home, your family. Nothing is more important. Nothing is more important than your home. Your family. Nothing is more important.)
(Relax. Don’t let fear hold you back. Fear that people will be jealous of your money, your success. You deserve those things and more. You’re a wonderful person.)
It’s OK
In the USA

SOME DAYS
© 2005 Mickenberg/Shelton

Some days you suck.
Some days you drive me up a wall.
Some days when I’m with you I get lonesome for my friends.

But just when I’ve made my mind up
Something changes it again
And it almost feels like we’d be happy together.

Some days you’re dumb.
Some days I wish you’d just shut up
Some days I stay up late and google my ex-boyfriends.

But just when I’ve made my mind up
Something changes it again
And it almost feels like we’d be happy together.

Some days I like your stuff
Some days I like the way you drive
Some days I wake up and thank god that you’re alive.

But just when I’ve made my mind up
Something changes it again…
And I just don’t feel like we’d be happy together.

* The Steve Baylor in this song is a fictitious character. Any resemblance to you is unintentional.